Spokane, WA

Developer to tear down every empty building in downtown Spokane and replace with surface parking.

In an announcement Wednesday morning, California developer Foyota Tord announced an innovative plan to reduce vacancy rates in downtown Spokane to zero.

“Currently there’s a three percent retail vacancy rate in downtown Spokane,” says Tord President, George Pavall. “We hate to see space go to waste like that. Who needs a beautiful brick building when it could be replaced with clean, black asphalt?”

According to the downtown Spokane website, there are only about 13,000 parking spaces in the urban core, “We’ve heard from the public that there isn’t enough room to park” said DSP President Mark Richard. “We want to address that issue. Tord’s ideas seem like a win-win to us.”

“I came downtown last week to shop,” said resident Ivana Complagn. “All the spaces directly in front of where I wanted to go were taken so I just drove home.” “When I saw that the River Park Square parking garage was full last weekend, it made me sick,” chimed in Larry Nomove. “Yah there was an empty lot down the street, but I’m not a marathon runner, I’ll leave the walking to the weirdos.”

Representatives of downtown Spokane have set a goal in 2016 that no downtown visitor should have to walk more than one block from their car to reach their destination.

 “We don’t want to put people at risk,” said Richard. “Sidewalks can be a real hassle, I walked through downtown the other day and kept bumping into flower pots and bike racks and clever sandwich board signs. Sure, it’s attractive, but who wants to stop and smell the roses like that?”

Other concerns over safety have been a key issue in downtown over recent years. Especially in the Spring and Summer. Large gatherings of crowds have been observed enjoying the music of one, two, or even three street musicians. A recent study from Prinston online proved that pedestrians do not have the mental capacity to both walk and enjoy music at the same time.

Expense is also an issue for many visitors. More parking means cheaper parking. “If there’s no reason to come downtown, then we can really scale back the cost of parking,” said Richard. He then went on to mention that it might even be free one day. When questioned about the fact that parking meters support sidewalk improvements in downtown and pay for other programs that might otherwise use taxpayer money, Richard mentioned a 20 year goal to make downtown less attractive and more “mall like.”

Tord will begin purchasing vacant properties as soon as they come available. In addition the developer has put their hat in the ring to begin paving underused spaces inside Riverfront Park. “‘More Cars, Less People.’ That’s our motto.”

And in case you didn’t realize it yet….April Fools!

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